we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
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Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
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There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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