I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
