no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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