Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
