we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
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I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
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We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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