I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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