Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
