god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
