dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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