Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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