I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
