Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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