i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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