i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm getting married
To pizza
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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