You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Randomize
