I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
