i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
