We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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