At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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