Kiss
Puke
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
