This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
