come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
