I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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