Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
