Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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