What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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