need another drink. this is the easiest way
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Randomize
