I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
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Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
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I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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