im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
