I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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