kristin has been a bad kristin
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
