His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
3pm strippers are depressing
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
