Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
My nipple is on Facebook.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
