But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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