Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
God, you're like boner-b-gone
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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