apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
