return my video game
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
