And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
