I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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