I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
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