Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
