Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
