Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
