WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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