don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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