I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
