we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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