I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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