i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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