oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
So much Jack, so little girl.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize