he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
love makes seman taste better
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
