sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
