You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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