I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
