Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You took a bar mat shot.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
