I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
