Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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