i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I think your dad took our porno
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
