Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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