My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize