It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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