great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
