he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize