i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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