I cut my penus on the lid.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
